In Shock.

Hey ya'll...I have some sad updates.

Within three days, a dear friend of mine went from bad to worse and passed away today. My friend Dianne Marshall passed away in a hospital in Santa Rosa after various lung and heart complications. Dianne was chosen as the "State Mom" the year I was Grand Worthy Advisor in Rainbow. She and I became very close, as we traveled everywhere together during the year and afterwards, I spent a lot of time with her. She and I meshed so well together- and I'm in shock that she is gone. I had the "Get Well" card in the mail yesterday.....wow...just...wow.

Part of my job, is to inform the other Grand Officers of our year of her passing. After I made my 30-or-so calls, I got a call from hospice- Grams had begun showing the signs of her final transition. She was unresponsive, breathing heavily, her lungs were draining, and her skin was becoming discolored. I had a feeling after seeing her yesterday that her latest episode of bad health was more serious than we'd seen.

Dianne's daughter and I have been on the phone off and on today. I'm doing what I can to help her plan the memorial, which because of certain circumstances, is this Saturday in Petaluma, CA.
Not only is it Jennah's birthday, Gram will be leaving us, and Dianne is already gone. Oh, did I mention that my friend Randi (whose father was the "State Dad" and her mom was on the Grand Executive Committee and very close to Dianne) went into labor this morning, and had her first baby, a little boy today. So, this weekend, I will be celebrating the lives of Randi's baby, little Jennah's 1st year of life, and saying goodbye to two people I love.

I am happy and sad. I wish I could be everywhere at once...with Gram, with Dianne's family, Jennah and the fam, and Randi too.


I just want to say a big thanks to my family and friends- who have really helped me through these last few months. I will need you still- and I send all my love...I hope Jennah has the happiest of 1st birthdays.

Much Better...

Hi everyone-
I just wanted to share that I am feeling much better. After my not-so-happy blog, I took some positive steps in making my stress-much-less and am doing better. I still have a ways to go, and some people in particular to talk to, but I've made some progress.

I spent this morning cleaning the garage with Dad. Whining doesn't work. Bartering doesn't work. Commanding? That works. "Dad, if you don't get in here by 10:30, I will have a nervous breakdown." then reinforced by threatening to trash the box cigars. haha. It relieved a lot of stress...granted, I had to get stressed getting him to do it, but the zen I feel now? So worth it...and it's not even done.

I LOOOVE this dog, and you do too. Just face it.

Homegrown baby! (except the carrots!)
Proud moment: All those veggies in the pan on the right? Those were from my garden and used to make veggie enchiladas: Zucchinni, Bell Pepper, Tomato. They were darn good!

Chris took this picture and almost fell over laughing...apparently, she was hungry. or confused.

This is the project I'm working on- it's for Halloween. I am very happy to finally be a crocheter so I had to do something! I guess that's what happens when you walk through Micheal's and see that all the Halloween stuff has come in. I know, I need a REAL hobby.


This is Gram's very, very belated Mother's Day present. Don't let it's simplicity fool you...it took me a LONG time to knit this. To sum it up, I began it in February...worked on it during the long hours of waiting around on Pageant Day in March...then I knitted it while waiting for Gram's surgery consultation in April (1 hr.) and then after she was supposed to wake up from surgery and be moved to her room (we waited for 4 hrs.) and then I knitted it by her bedside in April (who knows how long) and after the heart attack I put down the needles for some time. In August I finally finished it.

This is my Chihuahua-Terrier mix Benny. He is not very smart, but makes up for it in his terriorialness. He is not a big fan of Bailey, but is quickly realizing that she will be bigger than him soon and is catching up fast.

Bailey..the world's cutest dog. Caption: "Why can't I eat your shoes? >>Pug Sad Face<<" The result of me trying over thirty times to get a picture with this little ball of energy.

She loves her duck- thanks Dad! Why is my sandal over there? Because she insists on taking it with her wherever she's playing. I have the chew marks to prove it!

Pirate Pictures Anyone?

My best buddy, Whitney and her family (sorry these are out of order!)
Diana and Nina with the Pug. Nina is the "Pug Whisperer"

Yes loves, those were cake shots... yum.
Warning: Flammable.
Whitney's Dad, Hy (yes, that's his real, not-abbreviated name) rock climbed for years. Apparently, he thought my chimney would be a good idea. He went to the top I think...before we threatened to call the fire department to get him down.

The cake I made (which should have had a darker green frosting) I only have one pan that I like, and that's my Bundt pan, so that's typically the cake I make! haha

Whitney was my bartender- making Mojitos all kinds of yummyness!

Chris and I...very piratey!
So ya, apparently 23 year old guys can find enjoyment from a Dollar Tree foam Pirate Gun.
Now, aren't these the coolest? Whitney saw these in Goodhousekeeping or Woman's Day, something like that- and she acutally MADE them. That is what's great about Whitney, she doesn't just see stuff, she makes it! (I love her Rainbow Jello too!)

Okay, so I will eventually get the hang of this uploading picture stuff- I start uploading at the beginning of my photo folder, only to realize that once I do the next set, they appear above the first....so things get out of order.

I will post another blog with my latest creations and more of my little Puggers Bailey.

I lied

I am not posting anything personal on here just yet- but I thought this was worth mentioning:

We need to talk about poverty.



Blog Action Day 2008 Poverty from Blog Action Day on Vimeo.

I will be posting about it on Oct. 15th- and you are invited to participate. I know, I know, I'm a crazy person. But- I have untill Oct. 15th to get my thoughts together.

Let's start now so this Christmas isn't a hungry one for many of America's children.

Something to be Said

I've decided that I'm going to take a little break from blogging for awhile- both on here and on other blogs. I have come to the conclusion that if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all.

For those I know and love- to be honest, I'm dealing with a lot of difficult things right now. I am troubled, stressed and pretty depressed about everything. I have a lot on my mind that doesn't need to be posted on here, and until I am able to work through it, or ignore it long enough so it goes away, I am taking a step back.

I am dealing with some frustrations and some dissapointments. I am still doing my "Kisses for Cancer Patients Project"- but now, it will be much smaller. Some people have really impressed me- I received donations from complete strangers all over California (and beyond!), who sent kind notes about the project. On the other hand, I met a lot of apathy from people within my circle. I am trying to focus on those kind strangers, but I can't get over the dissapointment of being ignored by the people I love and respect.

In today's world, people are "too busy" to return calls, respond to emails or make a personal connection- or to even be honest. I am not as demanding as one who would expect everyone to donate to this project, I realize that times are tight (and I can assure you, they are very tight for this girl!). But what I did wish for this project, was to be acknowledged. A simple response would have been nice- just to know that the note was received..that's all. No money needed.

I tried to remain positive. I figured that people were busy and they would eventually get to my letter. Instead, I was ignored and only sent impersonal forwards about cell phones, politics, and get this- FRIENDSHIP. To be ignored like this- not just once or twice- but by about 30 people I care about really stung. I am going to take some personal time to get over the hurt and yes, anger. I wondered why nobody could see how ridiculous it was in ignoring a personal email, and instead, replying in a very impersonal way, that pretends to be personal. (there is nothing personal about a forward.)

But if anything, I have come to realize that people only care when it's convenient. My idea for lipsticks for cancer patients was a stupid idea, and I should climb back from the limb I was hanging from, and take my bruised pride with it.

What gets me though, is that no one even replied to let me know it was a stupid idea. I would have appreciated some realistic feedback. I suppose it was easier to let me sign a forwarded petition about cancer patients rather than actually DO something for cancer patients. Note: forwarded email petitions don't actually work.

I suppose I should stop for awhile on doing things out of my comfort zone. I have done a lot of things this year, that I hoped would help me deal with losing Gram. This was one of them. If you're wondering- she is not doing well, and if it weren't obvious...I am not doing well either.

I have felt very alone in this whole "her dying" thing. This has only made it worse. I sit here and type this in my empty house (alone), to go see her later today and feel more (alone), to come home, see my empty inbox (alone), and realize that I am embarking on a new chapter of my life- "Big Kid's School" in two weeks (alone.) I can't believe that girls my age complain about being alone- I have to say, there is nothing lonelier than paying medical bills for your dying Gram, to talk to hospice and doctors by yourself, and to have all of the chairs and beds in the house to yourself. Ya, I know, I'm complaining a lot.

But with a little optimism still intact, I must say, at least, though I have failed at plenty this year, at least I have done really well at it.

Alright, and with enough negativity for a year's worth of blogs- I am taking a short vacay from this blog. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I don't want to be a dark cloud- so until I get this sorted though, I am not going to write. I know there are a lot of people in my life that are very happy right now, doing a lot of happy, notable things. Untill I can rejoin that crowd and stop complaining about my life- I don't want to drag anyone down. I know I will get through this- and once school starts, I plan to do some happy stuff and work on getting myself healthy again.

Thanks.

Hey, there...Hi there...Ho there...

So folks- Chris darling has replaced the Hard Drive on my lappytop and also added some killer memory. We are back in business!

I would post pictures, but at the moment, they are on Chris' thumb drive, which I was happy to have before the compy completely died the other day! I will hopefully get my act together and have something for you to view very soon!

School starts in 2 weeks. Crap.

After a minor panic attack this morning regarding my classes transferring, I seem to have had it sorted out. I am trying to add another class so I'll be taking on 16 units this fall- not too shabby.

Okay, so I said I was no longer panicking? I lied.

I'm trying to get through this period of my life with some yoga to soothe me and more deep breathing excersizes than a lamaze class. I know I can land on my feet in this uncharted territory, but every-once-in-awhile, I get a whiff of the idea that I'm not just Shannyn being her totally rockin, self-reliant self, but actually, totally, and completely alone in this.

Though I'm always one for adventure and doing something new- I'm starting a new school year, in a new school, without Gram and Dad seems to be drifting further and further away from me. He would rather eat lunch and dinner alone at the Cafe than eat it with me. But let's not delve into that.

In fact, I'm terrified, but not as terrified as I am to find THIS:


But you know, it just takes a picture like that to put things all in perspective. Things could be a lot worse, I could have THAT in my kitchen.

On the bright side, Bailey has had a successful day of potty training...we have adjusted from the litter method to going outside.

I have started a halloween blanket (crochet) and I got to see Pineapple Express- it was funnier than funny.

I'm going to a baby shower tomorrow and it should be a nice conclusion to a very nice weekend..


I suppose all that one can really say is, "May the force be with you?"

If you dream it, they will help...

Life has been pretty crazy in the past year. I've decided that I need to do something awesome- perhaps for my own sanity- but also to prove that I can take the reigns of my own life and do things, even big things that bring me joy and fulfillment.

There are a lot of things that bring me happiness, being with the people I love, knitting, shopping for on-sale accessories, my puppy, sleeping in. I enjoy those things, but one thing that really gets me excited is a project that helps someone else. Well, this time I'm gonna be REALLY happy, because I have a REALLY big project.

On July 22nd this year, I turned 22. It was my golden birthday- and I had a very big idea that day. I want to have Apple Berry 2,200 lipsticks donated to women in Cancer Treatment Centers all over Southern California.

I know, I know, that's big.

Why Apple Berry? Mary Kay the Company is donating 100% of it's profits from the sale of Apple Berry Lipstick to the Mary Kay Ash Charitable Foundation (MKACF.org). This foundation is extremely efficient and uses 97% of it's funds to the actual charities it was intended for- like funding Cancer Research Grants and supporting Domestic Violence Prevention programs (97%! that's only 3% for overhead expenses!)

I strongly support this foundation because of the magnitude of impact it achieves- it's efficient and it awards a LOT of money to help women. Check out the website for the numbers- it's amazing.

To further this project, I am donating my profits back to purchase more lipsticks and hopefully reach that 2,200. So, the company donates it's profits, I donate my profits, and lipsticks go to the hands of women undergoing cancer treatment...pretty cool huh?

Now, what I ask of you reading this, is that even if you can't donate, please, PLEASE pass this on to everyone you know. Can you ask your coworkers, church friends, neighbors or family?

A donation of 2 lipsticks is $16 and arrangements can be made for payment by email (Shannyn@marykay.com).

I can't do this alone and need everyone to pass this on...if everyone just asked 10 people and got those lipsticks donated- I would be able to reach my goal by the end of October (which is Breast Cancer Awareness Month AND Domestic Violence Awareness Month).


Please, please, please help?